April 26th, 2004

Subject: man Time: 09:23 pm

god iwant to be on my own,i want to stay out all night and party,i want to make my own decisions,choose whats right and wrong,find good friends that i can spend tons of time with and not be worried what they think or if they are lying to me or if the are cutting themselves.i want a boyfriend,some one who likes me for me,someone im comfortable,some one who doesnt just want to "get" with me.I want to be smarter,or at least have a little more determination or something,and i want to go to a university,preferably UC santa cruz.and ya the usual.

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April 22nd, 2004

Time: 09:18 pm Current Mood: blank

just knowing that i can corrupt a freshmen is a joyus feeling. Chelsea,freshmen on my softball team, wants me to take her to a party so she can get drunk, and im touched that she has chosen me to help her act ilegally ha ha .i wish some one would have helped me out when i was a freshmen, ah she has sooo much to learn.ooooh ha ha i got a new shirt today, it says bling.cool i went to iowa for the whole spring break, and lets just say i got a lot of reading done LOLLY!! WHERE ARE YOU?

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April 11th, 2004

Current Music: classical biatch! Subject: iowa Time: 09:01 pm Current Mood: full

welp, im off to Iowa tomorrow......ahhh it should be a bit boring..im goin for frickin 8 days.damn.i cut my hair, its actually cute when i feel in the mood to style it..yeah HAPPY EASTER DUDES!

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April 7th, 2004

Current Music: silent treatment Time: 09:14 pm Current Mood: indescribable

you know when you just want some one to hold you?....god i feel like that all the time,i know it sounds corny but if you can tell im lonley, i cant find a decent guy.all the guys i like never like me =(,or the guys i get turn out to be fuckin douchbags.Im honesty really compationate about finding a person i love and feel comfortable with. Ha,today i met this girl from barzil,shes new to our school.she used to be a model and she is really straight forward haha it was funny. Ahhh i cant wait till college

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April 6th, 2004

Current Music: notin Subject: booger Time: 09:54 pm Current Mood: contemplative

contemplating my future is tireing ahh, i wanna go to the beach man, some people are sluts , i dont like sluts i have some close friends but no one i really think will have interest after high school, no one i want to do everything with, no one who is always there for me, its crazy. im bored with life, something needs to happen

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April 5th, 2004

Current Music: tv Subject: yeeeeeaaahh Time: 09:20 pm Current Mood: confused

i went to the dentist god i have alot of cavities,and i brush my teeth too im freakin out cause im scared of getting them filled well prom was this weekend, i have to say the best part was partyin after,i wish i had a date but it was a last minute thing, man, i lead on someone on this weekend, i feel bad, cause im confused. i need someone of the opposite sex to spend time with

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March 31st, 2004

Current Music: give up the ghost Subject: sooooooo annoying Time: 09:28 pm Current Mood: aggravated

man.. i hate it when some one like your best friend or some one fairly close to you acts weird,like one of my friends(i will not name any names just in case there is a valid reason for this)sometimes he will be all 'yeah lets hang out' and 'yeah we're friends'type of thing(i dont know if you get that)but then sometimes he acts all weird adn doesnt really talk to me and acts like what i say is some how not up to his standards when he is around other people, i really dont get it, it kinda hurts my feelings , i mean if you cant accept me all the time then dont be my friend, what ever, just another person ruinning my day. but its ok cause this weekend im gonna party like its 1999, ha ha yeah i know that was corny , but true

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March 29th, 2004

Current Music: nothin, that 70s show Subject: prom Time: 09:23 pm Current Mood: amused

welp,prom is on saturday,and yes im going,im kinda excited ,i got this really sexy dress ,so it'll be fun to dress up,i cant wait to party after. im gonna go see one of my old best friends that i havent seen in a year or so on friday,it should be really interesting because i can tell she has changed so much, she used to be all quiet and shy and conservative, almost prudish,now she is crazy,she doesnt stop talking,she is energetic,shes had a boyfriend!!! OMG its crazy. sooooo weird.man i cant wait till summer

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March 15th, 2004

Current Music: pin back Subject: hahhhhhhh Time: 09:26 pm Current Mood: chipper

well,as of now my life is ok,there is still that someone missing,but,im trying to be patient.i really really like john so who knows what couls happen with that.i went to santa cruz this weekend! ah i love it there, hopefully ill get into college there that would be sweet.Im glad me and andrea are cool again cause we do have alot of fun, she is very spontaneous and i like being that way,its funner.ah man i cant wait till summer!i want to go to the beach soooooo bad,i love the beach.

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March 7th, 2004

Current Music: watching full house (ha ha Subject: WOW HAHA Time: 09:38 pm

well lets just say i lied, me and andrea patched things up,i think everything should be fine from now on.dude i was grounded this weekend it sucked balls.sooooooooooo boring!!cant wait till i move out.me and lolly want to have a potluck! yummy fun!ha ha yeah ummmmmmmm...thats it

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March 3rd, 2004

Current Music: mars volta Subject: somethings come to an end Time: 08:42 pm Current Mood: shocked

WOW, well me and andrea are not friends anymore. its kinda sad my "best friend" and i are no longer friends.Actually whats sad to me is how much of a liar and a hipocrit shes is , i cant believe i ever felt sorry for her. whatever i dont know if all this will change but really , i dont care.man , John is so hot , have you ever liked someone that you felt was to smart for you or better than you ? well thats how i feel , and i always have this little glimmer of hope that usually get shattered into a thousand pieces, it sucks , shit i need some new guys to chill with , .Yeah ooh i love Mars Volta , god they are so good , im a freak , i cant stop listening to them.ah, im not doing as well in school , im loosing my drive, bad april.

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February 28th, 2004

Current Music: modest mouse Subject: WOW Time: 06:12 pm Current Mood: contemplative

man, last night was stress full, way to much dramma last night, and not alot of fun

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February 23rd, 2004

Current Music: alexis on fire Subject: funner Time: 09:14 pm Current Mood: contemplative

well this weekend was pretty cool for the most part.I hung out with a greg and some other poeple at his friend's house,ha ha we hella hotboxed the car.,so that was fun,but evey time i drink with those guys it gets really boring because all they do is just sit there its boring,ya,i guess me and andrea are cool now cant really tell ,its still wierd between us,yeah, fuck it was hella cool amanda got in a fight today! it was frickin awsome, ha ha i thrive on that stuff , nothin else is interesting.yay! softball has officialy started,im so excited and soooo out of shape. Man i need to go CD shopping, got any recomendations?????man me and rachel hung out with chris and tony and some other guys on sat. and chris was totally flirting with me, it really pissed me off because he thinks he can had me now after what he did, sorry bro you cant have me and my best friend Amanda.what a fuckin douche. he was all like" maybe i can take you out when i get a job , hopefully i can make up for being an ass hole" fuck no he cant , god guys are so stupid sometimes, they just want to get in your pants. i need a fucking guy that is nice and respestfull and that doesnt have sex on the mind 24/7.someone that wants to have a nice relationship would be nice, someone im comfortable with. any takers???? ha ha

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February 17th, 2004

Current Music: for the crown Subject: shitty shit Time: 09:53 pm Current Mood: indescribable

me and andrea "talked", sorta wrote i guess what ev.i dont know ,i dont get why there always has to be fucking dramma all the time.i wish i could just find someone to spend time with ,become closer than close with ya know? im fucking sick of being lonley, every guy i like or go out with just doesnt work out, it fucking suckz,i just wish i could find a decent guy,not a fucking loser. the guy i fancy now probly doesnt even consider me , just because we are so different, but man he IS a decent guy.blah yeah, i need to meet some new people

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February 13th, 2004

Current Music: give up the ghost Subject: oh yeah Time: 07:46 pm

i fucking hate valentines day BIATCH!!

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Current Music: give up the ghoste Subject: rant Time: 07:16 am Current Mood: lonely

ahhhhhhhhhhhh,blah,im so confused what should i do??

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February 8th, 2004

Current Music: 102.1 classical Subject: uhhhhgg Time: 12:55 pm Current Mood: full

gosh darn it ! im sick ,blah, i have a major chest cold and it sucks ass ,i hate being sick it blows. yeah i dont think im gonna do anything today, so far all ive done is make some soup(mmmmmmmm!) and home made mac & cheeze, i went to church and yeah thats it fun stuff, i plan to take a nap, watch tv,do my home work,take a shower=)and rent some movies, whooo! exciting,ive been goin crazy lately about college, ive been applying for scholar ships and looking at college web sites and all kinds of shit, i think i would really like to go to U.C.Santa cruz, ive done alot of reading on it and i really like it ,so yeah hopefully ill get in.

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February 7th, 2004

Current Music: saves the day Subject: partay Time: 05:12 pm Current Mood: bored

well, last i hung out at tony's with a bunch of people, it was fun , tony's mom makes the best dinner ever!!! oh my gosh it was good, mmm tacos and tostadas!i ate too much! im really bored right now there is nothin to do and no one to hang out with,blah i hope someone calls me.im sooo bored with life right now,i need to get my driver's license really bad then ill have a little more freedom, and i hate having people give me rides home all the time , i feel bad, but i guess they could say no..anywhoo, thats about it .

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February 3rd, 2004

Subject: boys Time: 09:58 pm Current Mood: amused

yeah well today was cool, i went and watched they boys(tony mike erik murtaza and their new guy matt)try out for some de la sal rock show thingy, it was cool , they are really good, major props, and yeah, im still not having the greatest time with life right now though , not sure why, but whatever, i think a man would solve my problems cause then at least i have him to be with since my flakey ass friends dont call me yes all of you suck , you too andrea, and yeah anyway , please people give me a call i always open to spontaneism(i dont think that is a word) whatever. thats it

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February 2nd, 2004

Current Music: nothin, tv Subject: booger Time: 08:25 pm Current Mood: disappointed

ok i gotta get somethings out in the open, greg longo if you cheated on andrea, i swear to god i will never talk to you again .i dont know what it is but greg has changed, and qutie frankly im not a big fan of him anymore,i always thought he would be a good friend to me but its all fake, it has always been .and andrea.... if you dont start making a little effort with our friend ship, its just not gonna work, you never call me , you dont talk to me or tell me things , i just dont get it, am i that bad of a friend? i mean thats what im here for, sometimes you make me so mad , and you dont even do anything , in fact i think that is why you make me mad, we dont act like "best friends" what ever that is. i dont know, but im here when you want to try, so yeah. crazy shit.....tony your a good guy, and yeah thats about it,.... any comments? any one?

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