mutual love thats never found

man

Tue, 27 Apr 2004 04:42:02 GMT

god iwant to be on my own,i want to stay out all night and party,i want to make my own decisions,choose whats right and wrong,find good friends that i can spend tons of time with and not be worried what they think or if they are lying to me or if the are cutting themselves.i want a boyfriend,some one who likes me for me,someone im comfortable,some one who doesnt just want to "get" with me.I want to be smarter,or at least have a little more determination or something,and i want to go to a university,preferably UC santa cruz.and ya the usual.

Fri, 23 Apr 2004 04:25:32 GMT

just knowing that i can corrupt a freshmen is a joyus feeling. Chelsea,freshmen on my softball team, wants me to take her to a party so she can get drunk, and im touched that she has chosen me to help her act ilegally ha ha .i wish some one would have helped me out when i was a freshmen, ah she has sooo much to learn.ooooh ha ha i got a new shirt today, it says bling.cool
i went to iowa for the whole spring break, and lets just say i got a lot of reading done
LOLLY!! WHERE ARE YOU?

iowa

Mon, 12 Apr 2004 04:05:33 GMT

welp, im off to Iowa tomorrow......ahhh it should be a bit boring..im goin for frickin 8 days.damn.i cut my hair, its actually cute when i feel in the mood to style it..yeah

HAPPY EASTER DUDES!

Thu, 08 Apr 2004 04:24:27 GMT

you know when you just want some one to hold you?....god i feel like that all the time,i know it sounds corny but if you can tell im lonley, i cant find a decent guy.all the guys i like never like me =(,or the guys i get turn out to be fuckin douchbags.Im honesty really compationate about finding a person i love and feel comfortable with.
Ha,today i met this girl from barzil,shes new to our school.she used to be a model and she is really straight forward haha it was funny.
Ahhh i cant wait till college

booger

Wed, 07 Apr 2004 04:55:17 GMT

contemplating my future is tireing

ahh, i wanna go to the beach
man, some people are sluts , i dont like sluts
i have some close friends but no one i really think will have interest after high school, no one i want to do everything with, no one who is always there for me, its crazy.

im bored with life, something needs to happen

yeeeeeaaahh

Tue, 06 Apr 2004 04:25:47 GMT

i went to the dentist
god i have alot of cavities,and i brush my teeth too
im freakin out cause im scared of getting them filled

well prom was this weekend, i have to say the best part was partyin after,i wish i had a date but it was a last minute thing,
man, i lead on someone on this weekend, i feel bad, cause im confused.
i need someone of the opposite sex to spend time with

sooooooo annoying

Thu, 01 Apr 2004 05:36:13 GMT

man.. i hate it when some one like your best friend or some one fairly close to you acts weird,like one of my friends(i will not name any names just in case there is a valid reason for this)sometimes he will be all 'yeah lets hang out' and 'yeah we're friends'type of thing(i dont know if you get that)but then sometimes he acts all weird adn doesnt really talk to me and acts like what i say is some how not up to his standards when he is around other people, i really dont get it, it kinda hurts my feelings , i mean if you cant accept me all the time then dont be my friend, what ever, just another person ruinning my day. but its ok cause this weekend im gonna party like its 1999, ha ha yeah i know that was corny , but true

prom

Tue, 30 Mar 2004 05:38:29 GMT

welp,prom is on saturday,and yes im going,im kinda excited ,i got this really sexy dress ,so it'll be fun to dress up,i cant wait to party after. im gonna go see one of my old best friends that i havent seen in a year or so on friday,it should be really interesting because i can tell she has changed so much, she used to be all quiet and shy and conservative, almost prudish,now she is crazy,she doesnt stop talking,she is energetic,shes had a boyfriend!!! OMG its crazy. sooooo weird.man i cant wait till summer

hahhhhhhh

Tue, 16 Mar 2004 05:34:10 GMT

well,as of now my life is ok,there is still that someone missing,but,im trying to be patient.i really really like john so who knows what couls happen with that.i went to santa cruz this weekend! ah i love it there, hopefully ill get into college there that would be sweet.Im glad me and andrea are cool again cause we do have alot of fun, she is very spontaneous and i like being that way,its funner.ah man i cant wait till summer!i want to go to the beach soooooo bad,i love the beach.

WOW HAHA

Mon, 08 Mar 2004 05:45:01 GMT

well lets just say i lied,
me and andrea patched things up,i think everything should be fine from now on.dude i was grounded this weekend it sucked balls.sooooooooooo boring!!cant wait till i move out.me and lolly want to have a potluck! yummy fun!ha ha yeah ummmmmmmm...thats it

somethings come to an end

Thu, 04 Mar 2004 05:01:02 GMT

WOW, well me and andrea are not friends anymore. its kinda sad my "best friend" and i are no longer friends.Actually whats sad to me is how much of a liar and a hipocrit shes is , i cant believe i ever felt sorry for her. whatever i dont know if all this will change but really , i dont care.man , John is so hot , have you ever liked someone that you felt was to smart for you or better than you ? well thats how i feel , and i always have this little glimmer of hope that usually get shattered into a thousand pieces, it sucks , shit i need some new guys to chill with , .Yeah ooh i love Mars Volta , god they are so good , im a freak , i cant stop listening to them.ah, im not doing as well in school , im loosing my drive, bad april.

WOW

Sun, 29 Feb 2004 02:15:05 GMT

man, last night was stress full, way to much dramma last night, and not alot of fun

funner

Tue, 24 Feb 2004 05:27:29 GMT

well this weekend was pretty cool for the most part.I hung out with a greg and some other poeple at his friend's house,ha ha we hella hotboxed the car.,so that was fun,but evey time i drink with those guys it gets really boring because all they do is just sit there its boring,ya,i guess me and andrea are cool now cant really tell ,its still wierd between us,yeah, fuck it was hella cool amanda got in a fight today! it was frickin awsome, ha ha i thrive on that stuff , nothin else is interesting.yay! softball has officialy started,im so excited and soooo out of shape. Man i need to go CD shopping, got any recomendations?????man me and rachel hung out with chris and tony and some other guys on sat. and chris was totally flirting with me, it really pissed me off because he thinks he can had me now after what he did, sorry bro you cant have me and my best friend Amanda.what a fuckin douche. he was all like" maybe i can take you out when i get a job , hopefully i can make up for being an ass hole" fuck no he cant , god guys are so stupid sometimes, they just want to get in your pants. i need a fucking guy that is nice and respestfull and that doesnt have sex on the mind 24/7.someone that wants to have a nice relationship would be nice, someone im comfortable with.

any takers???? ha ha

shitty shit

Wed, 18 Feb 2004 06:06:13 GMT

me and andrea "talked", sorta wrote i guess what ev.i dont know ,i dont get why there always has to be fucking dramma all the time.i wish i could just find someone to spend time with ,become closer than close with ya know? im fucking sick of being lonley, every guy i like or go out with just doesnt work out, it fucking suckz,i just wish i could find a decent guy,not a fucking loser. the guy i fancy now probly doesnt even consider me , just because we are so different, but man he IS a decent guy.blah yeah, i need to meet some new people

oh yeah

Sat, 14 Feb 2004 03:46:54 GMT

i fucking hate valentines day BIATCH!!

rant

Sat, 14 Feb 2004 03:16:37 GMT

ahhhhhhhhhhhh,blah,im so confused
what should i do??

uhhhhgg

Sun, 08 Feb 2004 21:06:02 GMT

gosh darn it !

im sick ,blah, i have a major chest cold and it sucks ass ,i hate being sick it blows. yeah i dont think im gonna do anything today, so far all ive done is make some soup(mmmmmmmm!) and home made mac & cheeze, i went to church and yeah thats it fun stuff, i plan to take a nap, watch tv,do my home work,take a shower=)and rent some movies, whooo! exciting,ive been goin crazy lately about college, ive been applying for scholar ships and looking at college web sites and all kinds of shit, i think i would really like to go to U.C.Santa cruz, ive done alot of reading on it and i really like it ,so yeah hopefully ill get in.

partay

Sun, 08 Feb 2004 01:22:22 GMT

well, last i hung out at tony's with a bunch of people, it was fun , tony's mom makes the best dinner ever!!! oh my gosh it was good, mmm tacos and tostadas!i ate too much! im really bored right now there is nothin to do and no one to hang out with,blah i hope someone calls me.im sooo bored with life right now,i need to get my driver's license really bad then ill have a little more freedom, and i hate having people give me rides home all the time , i feel bad, but i guess they could say no..anywhoo, thats about it .

boys

Wed, 04 Feb 2004 06:07:38 GMT

yeah well today was cool, i went and watched they boys(tony mike erik murtaza and their new guy matt)try out for some de la sal rock show thingy, it was cool , they are really good, major props, and yeah, im still not having the greatest time with life right now though , not sure why, but whatever, i think a man would solve my problems cause then at least i have him to be with since my flakey ass friends dont call me yes all of you suck , you too andrea, and yeah anyway , please people give me a call i always open to spontaneism(i dont think that is a word) whatever. thats it

booger

Tue, 03 Feb 2004 05:18:11 GMT

ok i gotta get somethings out in the open, greg longo if you cheated on andrea, i swear to god i will never talk to you again .i dont know what it is but greg has changed, and qutie frankly im not a big fan of him anymore,i always thought he would be a good friend to me but its all fake, it has always been .and andrea.... if you dont start making a little effort with our friend ship, its just not gonna work, you never call me , you dont talk to me or tell me things , i just dont get it, am i that bad of a friend? i mean thats what im here for, sometimes you make me so mad , and you dont even do anything , in fact i think that is why you make me mad, we dont act like "best friends" what ever that is. i dont know, but im here when you want to try, so yeah. crazy shit.....tony your a good guy, and yeah thats about it,.... any comments? any one?

yawn

Fri, 30 Jan 2004 05:38:03 GMT

man , im tired,
i need new friends, not people like Amanda or melissa or rachel, they are great, Andrea is too but sometimes she really pisses me off , and its not even really big things. but whatev.the rest of them ... they can kiss my bootay(if they can find it)i probly make to big of a deal with things but i dont care , i dont like getting my feelings hurt,blah , i dont know, but i like hangin with tony ,mike , murtaza, lolly nick, and chris,and like maddie and andy , , ya know, they are all really cool people.i just wan to have a good time with people that arnt judgemental or anything like that,and that are crazy and fun and spontaneous.but yeah , so those are my rants , gotta go

movies

Wed, 28 Jan 2004 05:48:14 GMT

oooh my gosh , moulin rouge is my favoritest movie!!! ah, love its beautiful
oh yeah and Amelie is a great movie too , i highly recomend it,it is exquisit
man , i cant wait till finals are over , im goin crazy, i neeeed to get good grades so ive been studyin like crazy.yeah , lidia, it sux huh? i feel your PAIN!blah,i need a man , and not just some one to fool around with on the side ,a boyfriend , someone who likes me and i like them,someone i have a connection with , yeah i dont know, im rambling , ok
later

friends suck

Sun, 25 Jan 2004 01:34:16 GMT

yeah well , i offcially dislike my friends, welll i guess they are not really my friends,they never call me they do stuff with out me and i hate it! like last nught greg Andrea jason liz, and mike all went out and of course they dont callme , my own damn best friend doesnt even call me when the group goes , out , so all i have to say is fuck all of you

hanky panky....uh yeah

Fri, 16 Jan 2004 05:37:29 GMT

well my parents come home tomorrow =( dang ....me and Andrea are funny, we are fatty liars, we have very little freedom so , to get what we want it sometimes takes some fibbing.Ha ha funny .man guys get to do whatever they want it sux , no fare.yeah , ive been smoking ciggerettes latley its nasty that will deff. have to stop for sure.its a turn off,not sexy

whoa!

Sun, 11 Jan 2004 04:48:52 GMT

HA! well my parents are leaving tomorrow for a week!! its awsome ..kinda except for im stayin at Andrea's house so sorry guys no partyin , ....damn! im havin major lonliness probs. it stinks , every guy i like just doesnt work out .so yeah blah.
well next week i can do what i want so give me a call !!